SHE COMMUNICATES THROUGH ACTIONS:
Tarzan, you frustrate me no end (as my shrill, shrewlike tone of voice tells you) but I always take your phone calls, unless I’m in a bad cell or in the shower, and when I see you called, I drop whatever I’m doing to call you back. My words may be harsh or shrill or bitchy, but I pour my energy into every interaction we have. No one else gets that level of attention, no one else makes me this agitated, and no one else can make my heart flutter like you can. I love you, Tarzan, and I know you love me too.
Tarzan, I know we’re in a relationship, but it’s not one I can tell my friends about, I can’t brag that we are official because of your false denials of what we mean to each other, so I am punishing you by refusing to stay at your house, refusing to have sex with you when you come over here, by acting bitchy in every conversation we have, and by continuing to date other men. I am so pissed off at you for not giving me my way by telling the world that we are a couple that I will continue to nag you, berate you and puncture you with words designed to provoke a response, but I know you are ignoring my words and that just makes me even more frustrated and angry, so I will refuse to see you at your house, and though I invite you to my place, I will not fuck you or suck your cock.
Tarzan, until you give in and let me start controlling you, I will continue my warfare against you. Much as I love you, I must dominate you.
That last one is Jane’s major malfunction. She should realize that no woman loves a man she controls, and that a huge part of her attraction to him is his wild, free spirit that is independent from her. The moment he becomes pussywhipped and henpecked, she would instantly be turned off. So, Jane, stop fighting, stop being such a prick and let the man lead the relationship a little.
That and the communication problem is dooming this couple. She – for whatever reason – never learned to decode male actions as communication and she has an inordinate faith in words. He, on the other hand, thinks words are bullshit, as he’s been lied to in a big way.
Could these two compromise and meet in the middle?
Doubtful. Their nature has held them in a push-me-pull-you relationship for half a decade.
No, one of them must change his or her fundamental nature. Odds are, Tarzan won’t change, because he can’t hear the logic of the words, he only interprets the pattern of the actions.
But Jane can change. Realize that Jane’s nicknames are “Brainiac Twat” and “Compiling Cunt.” She’s the daughter of a man who was CEO of a gigantic international corporation, and she’s just like him. He didn’t get where he did in his career by being a dumb ass, but Jane insists on being one for whatever self-destructive, moody, pouting reasons.
Jane should just wake up and drop all the pride that insists that serious relationships only come with wedding rings and pronouncements to the world of total, unbreakable commitment. That’s such a tenth grade idea of relationships.
Grow up, Jane. Because when you do, you’ll have an abundant and amazingly fruitful relationship with Tarzan. You’ll live happily ever after.
Amen.
Playboy Author Boy
“Long Live the Penis Revolution”
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