FEMALE PLAYERS

HOW TO TELL THAT A WOMAN IS A PLAYER

 

With very few exceptions, female players are markedly different from the male version.

 

To understand this, let’s look at the typical male player.  He is characterized by charm, getting rapidly into a girl’s life, and thence into her thong.  The sex is early in the dating, and often very hot, but then something happens.  Our playboy gets suddenly less enthusiastic.  Old players don’t die, they just…fade away.  The reason for this behavior?  Good old-fashioned heterosexual sex drive, the love of the female body and what it does to the male body – and brain chemistry – and a true desire for female companionship.  This is also coupled with a particular male goal – the avoidance of commitment.  The male doesn’t want a relationship like a woman does, because it feels stifling.  To the male, in this phase, a relationship may just be defined as sex and friendship.  A loose alliance of equals where friendship and lust are the common meeting ground.  Usually, the male player is in motion – he is detoxing from a bad marriage.  Or he’s initially afraid of the approach to intimacy.  Or both.  But with each encounter, the woman changes him.  Eventually, the meaningless sex with female friends gets emptier.  The lust boils off faster.  Our playboy friend wants something more permanent.  He’s willing to allow for delayed gratification for a woman who is more real to him, a woman he actually comes to trust.  Finally, the playboy isn’t a player anymore, he’s a relationship-seeker.

 

Now, the female.  Girls usually don’t hunt guys down, then fuck them and move on.  Let’s look at the playgirl’s motives and goals first.  The playgirl wants to avoid commitment, just as the playboy does.  Perhaps for the same reasons.  Toxic marriage, poisonous divorce, horrifying last relationship.  Or parental abuse, realized at age 30 or 40.  Being overwhelmed by kid duty.  Or money woes.  Or she’s still in love with the last guy who dumped her.  Or all at once.  But as with the playboy, the playgirl desires some form of communion with the opposite sex.  As long as it won’t lead to a real relationship.  So our female player forms alliances with unavailable men – married men, or male players, or men who live 500 miles away.  Anything to insulate her from the possibility of a real relationship.  The woman is usually successful, but unlike the male player, female playing usually involves self-deception, a particularly toxic form of dishonesty because it damages the soul of the woman herself in addition to all she touches.  The female actually COMPLAINS about her unavailable boyfriend, or her married cheating partner, or her over-the-horizon love.  Unlike men, who only complain about REAL problems, females bitch about problems that are not real and which do not need solving.  If someone were able to wave a magic wand and bring the female player’s boyfriend out of his marriage, the “relationship” would collapse.  Soon, the playgirl would find another married man to fall in love with.  The female player is only attracted to the unavailable.

 

When the playgirl eventually moves to a place where she can commit her heart, the unavailable men become as unattractive as they deserve to be.  Suddenly, perfectly available male relationship-seekers are everywhere, and they are interested in her.  At that point, falling in love with male marriage material is as easy as falling off a log.

 

So the next time your female friend bitches about how all the good men are taken, shake your head.  She’s not ready.  She’s a player.

 

One playgirl in a thousand plays like men play, and winks at men and immediately asks them if she can blow them in a parking lot.  Men respond to that, but the result is either a very short term fling or a relationship built on sand.  At the first sign of stress, it blows away (no pun intended).

 

So the next time Sally Bee-stung Lips winks at me from Chicago, don’t be surprised when I correctly label her a playgirl.