DEAR PLAYBOY AUTHOR BOY

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

 

What I want to know is, why do guys with kids consistently write to me when I specifically say, No Dads? I have on my profile that I don't date guys with kids but they still write to me. That's my question to you.

 

PS- Match was worse. In the year and a half I was on there, I was stood up 3 times and never actually met anyone from the site. Yahoo seems to be about the same.

 

Tall Blonde Bitchy Chick

 

 

Dear Tall Blonde,

 

Why dads hit on you:

 

1.  We're guys.  We look at the pictures.  We don't read the fine print other than here and there (smoker or taller than 5'8", etc.).

 

2.  We're not going to do your work of rejecting us.  That's YOUR job.  All you have to do is skip an email or not respond to it.

 

3.  Even when women say, don't write me if you have a mustache, and even if guys with mustaches read that, they will write.  Why?  The always think, "well, I'm the exception.  That's for the other guys."

 

4.  Anything in a profile that is negative, like "make sure you have a picture or I will not respond" is bitchy.  Guys don't like bitches.  Mellow out.

 

5.  As to being stood up, that tends to happen if dates are set up either too far in advance or set up by email.  Rule is, 4 - 5 emails, then phone number exchange, then 3 -5 phone calls.  If there is (a) chemistry and (b) no fatal flaws (felony crimes, bitchy female, mustaches, etc.) then the phone is only for logistics.  Phone confirmation must happen within 24 hours like the old days of airline travel.  No confirmation means no date.  Ideally, both 24 hours before and 1 hour before ("I'm running late" or "I'm on time, see you at the lower bar!").  If you don't hear the 24 hour confirmation phone call, you can leave a message saying "I didn't think you remembered" or an email saying "are we on?"  If you don't hear, the guy has "flaked" meaning unaccountably disappeared.  Every time I set up a date more than 3 days in the future, there had better be a lot of phone calls back and forth or else it will crash.  Guys don't want to hog time with you on the phone and risk blowing a good thing.

 

6.  Unique problems are indicative of the individual they happen to.  Example, Girl 25 stated that guys always emailed her pictures of their private parts.  No one else had ever said that.  I checked out her profile.  Nothing ostensibly slutty about it.  But still, something in her initial email replies was giving guys a "come hither" to send her penis pics.  I asked her, aren't you disgusted by that?  She said, "No, I think it's kinda hot."  In your case, this failure to launch on dates and stand up experiences are very unusual.  I've heard a lot of stories in my time but not that one.  I suspect that the same narrow thinking you have about children is detected by the guys and they flake for that reason.

 

Sorry if that's too blunt for you, but in this world, very few people will tell you the truth.

 

Truth is too valuable to hide for fear of hurting one's feelings.

 

Mike