LIE DETECTION PART 1

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

Okay, I think i comprehended your theories. I need some help on how to "play" these games. Can you help me out?

Got No Game in New Jersey

Dear Gameless,

Yes, I can tell you how. Most of these tests simply revolve around truth. You have to find out if your proposed guy is trustworthy. Ronald Reagan said, "Trust but verify." Keep your eyes open. Watch what a guy's actions are and pay far less attention to his words. Words are cheap. Anyone can say them. When a guy says something to you that is important, and you need to know if he's telling the truth, just doubt him out loud. Make him tell you why it is true for him.

Classic example:

Tarzan: Jane, I love you.

Jane: (laughs) No you don't, you're just using me for sex!

Tarzan: (laughs) Damn you.

That means it's true, he's just into the sex.

But:

Tarzan: No, I mean it, I really do.

Jane: I don't know...

Tarzan: Yes, I do, and I can prove it.

Jane: No way.

Tarzan: (dialing cell phone) Hey, it's me. Will you talk to Jane? Tell her what we talked about all weekend at the cabin. (handing phone toJane) It's Cheetah.

Jane: Hello, Cheetah.

Cheetah: Jesus, Jane, will you just take this guy away and marry him? All he freaking talks about is YOU! I've never seen a guy so damned in love. Frankly, it's disgusting, sappy, saccharine and obnoxious. You two should just get a room and get it over with!

Jane: (giggling) Thank you, Cheetah. (hangs up)

Tarzan: Believe me now?

Jane: (shaking her head) I don't see any roses, Tarzan. Or diamonds.

Tarzan: (smiling shyly) Oh yeah? (hands over jewelry box)

You see? Actions. Tarzan didn't just moan that he loved Jane. He SHOWED her. Jane was testing for truth by doubting. Gently and affectionately, but doubting all the same.

In other cases, you test for truth through accusation. If Jane thinks Tarzan is cheating on her, she surprises him with an accusation.

Jane: (coldly) I know you're fucking that bartender at your bar.

Tarzan: What? What are you talking about? (Tarzan is stupefied and stunned -- odds are he's not cheating)

But

Tarzan: Oh, oh, um, oh...shit...um, I am not fucking her! (Tarzan is visibly shaken and drops his beer)

Jane: Oh, she's just giving you blowjobs then?

In the second case, Tarzan is lying.

Lies can be detected through body language and eye motion and eye contact. Everyone lies, so if you watch your subject closely, he will give away clues when he's lying. He'll do something unusual. Put his hand in front of his mouth. Clasp his hands together.

Most lies are easily detected if you open your mind to being dedicated to absolute truth whether or not it is painful to you. Denial and cooperating with those who lie to us through self-deception is the main way we are lied to successfully. But if you consciously test for truth, you can break through lies.

Other gamesmanship issues include testing for temperament (the example before about breaking safe), finances (entrust a guy with a medium sum of money and see what he does -- if he gambles it away, that's not being trustworthy), sexual orientation (women get lied to all the time by gay guys who say they are straight, because some of them are lying to themselves ~ making the lie tough to detect except for the measure of the guy's actions).

Let's look at the sexual orientation tests. Look for actions. Does he swivel his head to see a guy walk by him on the sidewalk? Or just blondes? Does his porn include gay stuff or just girls? Can he only cum when you're using a strapon dildo in his ass? These are actions that tell you that the man is gay, or at least bisexual.

What about in the workplace? Management is famous for lying to employees and vice versa. Again, actions speak louder than words. Don't ignore the words, but realize that corporate written and spoken words can get people into deep legal trouble, so the words may have nothing to do with reality. It can get disorienting, but stay dedicated to truth and no one can bullshit you.

Finally, watch out for false friends. These are everywhere. Measure friends not on words but on actions. The love of one friend for another is perhaps the most pure love other than parental love. A true friend will take a bullet for you. A false friend will be too busy criticizing you to take the bullet.

Beware of emotional thinking. Do not measure people by how they make you feel. A true friend might upset you by saying the most loving thing he could say to you, something that would save your life ("quit smoking!") despite that it hurts your feelings. An false friend (i.e., enemy) might make you feel good by all the nice things she says to you, but meanwhile she's fucking your boyfriend behind your back. So were you to measure by your feelings, you would mix up your friends and your enemies. Friendship is measured by results. So is love.

Love, after all, is not a feeling but an action. You love someone by taking action to improve them as a spiritual person, to uplift them, to teach them, to enrich them, and usually you inconvenience yourself by doing that. Someone who refuses to suffer an inconvenience for you does not love you. Bottom line is that friends who love you will gladly suffer for you. They will pick up your kids when you're late. They will feed your dog when you're away. They will watch over your house if you get called out of town. They will alert you if the rumor mill says you're about to be fired.

That is the short course on what you would consider game-playing. The advanced course features the negotiation discussion (next email) which is difficult for women, but involves the creation of an image in another person's mind, an image you want them to have, an image that may be bigger and stronger than the reality. Some people refuse to do this because they think it is lying. They have a point. But those same people tend to lead ineffective lives.

Playboy Author Boy