DATING IS A NUMBERS GAME

DATING -- THE NUMBERS GAME

 

OR

 

DON'T TAKE REJECTION PERSONALLY

 

Disconnection is the key to connection.  When you've been around, you realize that dating is such a numbers game and that attraction is so hit or miss, you realize that most proposed people will be duds.  The numbers for me boiled down to 1% of single females would work for me whom I would be a chemistry match for them.  That's 10 in a thousand, which is pretty good.  I went through 3000, so that gave me 30 candidates.  I tried them all.  Of 30, only 8 would be considered for a second encounter.  Of 8, only 2 could I ever imagine falling for.  That's 2 in 3000.  Notice, 30 people of mutual chemistry in 3000, but only 2 of the 30 were relationship-worthy. 

 

First you need to get to the nuclear meltdown chemistry (to mix my metaphors).  That means rejecting any and all comers (cummers) who don't turn you on so much that you would jump their bones in the ladies room of the bar.  Disconnection!  Sometimes, you can't tell whether you have chemistry with a woman because of her single postage stamp sized photo, so you audition in person.  And at that point, you usually will not see potential.  Even if you do, the other person may not.  And then, even if there is mutual dynamite chemistry, guess what?  You stand only a 1 in 15 chance that they could sustain a relationship beyond the third date.  With statistics like that you would think finding a love relationship would be impossible.

 

Not so.  In a book called something like the Mathematics of Love, a very smart PhD wrote that based on the human ability to learn, you need only 12 relationships to go from zero to true love (marriage-type love).  Now, that's 12 RELATIONSHIPS, which means you have to get to someone who meets the above criteria.  While I said there were 2, I "relationship-auditioned" 6.  4 didn't work out.  So I had a total of 6 mini-relationships.  I got lucky and didn't have to do 6 more.

 

The thingis, you need to define a relationship.  This is my personal opinion, but I think it means that you are exclusive, you have romantic feelings for the other person, the sex is electrical and you have been through a knock-down drag-out fight with the result that the bond is stronger and healthier.  The 4 failures went badly on the fight end.

 

That's why I may tend to go exclusive with someone quicker than the experts advise.  I want to see what's beyond the green door.  If it works, joy to the world.  If not, it's back to the SEARCH function for me.  Match, my pimp, send me a brunette nurse with blue eyes, a tattoo and a wicked sense of humor.  If that doesn't work, send me a blonde lawyer with long legs.  Nothing?  Okay, black-haired financial services bitch who is skinny as a bone.  Still nothing?  Okay, separated housewife, damsel in distress type, 2 kids, big hooters, any color hair, but taller than 5'8".

 

Some people argue with me about the chemistry end.  One friend said, "I didn't like his looks at first, but he grew on me."  A word to the wise.  If you have to hold your nose to get the boy to grow on you (like a fungus), odds are, when you get into a big-assed fight, instead of thinking to yourself, "I hate him right now, but I still want to fuck him," you think, "I hate him right now, and he looks so damned ugly."  The bond will weaken until you are in a zombie relationship in which you don't want to have sex with your husband. 

 

Chemistry, sweetheart.  It's more than just a freshman course in college.  It's the glue of the relationship.

 

Don't believe me?  Have lunch with any divorce lawyer.  Then see what you think.