DATING ADVICE FOR MEN

Dating Site Advice

 

 

Dude, I spent a year on the dating sites, and I know what I'm talking about.

 

The only one for guys that works is Match.com.  Believe me, it takes some work, but the sluts are there, believe me.  I dated so many women there that I got tired of it.

 

There's a technique, though.  First, you have to get a black and white photo shoot.  It makes a guy who's a 6 look like a 9.  It is eye catching.  Crack open your wallet.  For the price of a nice night out, you can get enough black and white photos (outside, leather jacket, leaning on something phallic like a tree) to find half a dozen that are good.  Then write a profile.  Stuck for a good one?  Just steal from other guys, but customize it.  I know it will feel weird surfing for guys, but you need a killer writeup or the girls won't stop over.  Work at it, and ask some female friends to comment on it, and for once -- LISTEN TO THEM!!!!  Change it weekly -- you'll be amazed at what different fish are attracted to a slight change in bait!  Keep changing it every Sunday until you have a formula that works for you.

 

Second, don't use the wink feature.  It only works with skanks.

 

Third, execute a search for what you want.  Do you really want a movie star gorgeous woman?  Or a girl with sex appeal?  What turns you on?  Someone like your mom?  Your sister?  That third grade teacher?  Your little sister's friends?

 

Blonde, blue eyes, slender?  Or brunette, dark eyes, exotic, and solid?  Decide, and once you do, don't deviate.

 

Go hunting and every day, write a UNIQUE email to a dozen women who meet your search criteria.  Actually read their profile in addition to checking out their photos.  Find something to tease them about, or be funny, or be sweet.  Keep them short, 3 sentences, one saying something flattering about them ("Killer smile, darling, I love that dress in photo 3, and I love that you like the theater -- what's your favorite?  Oh, and I adore that rat-like dog you have!") then one about you, something that isn't in your profile (I love sailing, and I noticed you're by the shore.  I went sailing out of there once on a catamaran, but it's not a real sailboat unless it only has one hull.") Then say something cute or complain about dating ("I like this restaurant that's by you, it's a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place, you should try it...") or ("Lately I've begun to think that the world's females have gone nuts -- you should see the emails I get on this crazy place!").  Sign it and send it, then forget it.

 

Now, remember the factor of 10:  for every 10 emails you send, you'll get one response.  Follow up on it and continue to be your best self.  For every 10 women you email with, you may talk on the phone with 1.  When you do, again, best behavior, but don't be afraid to flirt and be as sexual as you are.  After all, you're in this to get a sex partner, be it a soulmate for life or Saturday's sperm receptacle.  And the girls are in it to get sex as well, but remember, SEX FOR WOMEN CAN BE DANGEROUS.  I'm not talking AIDS or STDs, I'm talking about assault and battery, death and dismemberment.  Can you think of the last time you were afraid of your date?  Never happened, did it?  Of course not, you're a guy.

 

For every 10 you talk to on the phone, you'll have one decent date.  For every 10 of them, you'll get one who will be worth keeping.

 

By my estimation, in the last year, I got 4 girlfriends and 35 sex partners in addition.  To do that, I had 1st dates with 65 women.  To date them, I spoke on the phone to 200.  To speak with 200, I emailed back and forth with 1200.  To get into reciprocal email conversation with 1200, I had to solicit emails from 3500 women.  And to find the 3500 candidates, I searched through 12,000 profiles and photos.

 

So it's not really 10-to-1, more like 3-to-1.  But pace yourself.  You rarely hit on a girl and bed her the same day.  Usually the land speed record from search result to wet cock is 7 days.  Best ever for me is 36 hours, but that was with a girl who was totally playing and didn't care to see the same guy twice.  "Real" women, the kind you can take out for beer and pizza with your friends, take time to find, but believe me, it is worth it.

 

Now, usually it is a waste of time responding to women who contact you.  Usually they don't meet your search criteria.  Never, never, never respond to a woman you wouldn't want to fuck on the first date.

 

Remember that the only acceptable means of rejection is SILENCE.  Don't answer the phone or read text messages or listen to voice mails from obsessed heartbroken women.  They will suck the life out of you.

 

Good luck, my friend.

 

M