THE WOMAN WHO CAN'T BE PLEASED

THE WOMAN WHO CAN’T BE PLEASED

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

 

I can't get past all the advice for men about, "If you truly listen, if you help out more, if you give her space, if she had a hobby, if you romanced her more, then she would give you more sex and more attention.”  I'm beginning to believe its all bullshit to keep men trapped in their marriages.  I ask, "What's going on, how are you feeling?” and listen ad nauseum to the list of "things" she must deal with on a daily basis.  I do at least 40% of the housework while working fulltime and she works 2 days a week, I drop off and pick up kids from school / daycare, I'm active in kids youth activities, etc.  At least one a month, I take her out - no kids, spend money on dinner / show / dancing.  What does this get me? More nagging, more "I need you to do x,y,z for me...", more "That was nice - I'm tired and going to bed."  No extra loving, no increase in sexual desire, nothing.  I thought the late 30s and 40s were a woman's sexual peak? She refuses to discuss it and won't see a doctor - what to do?

 

Test Pilot Going Down

 

 

Dear Test Pilot,

 

This happened to me too. First it was, I can't have sex because I'm unhappy your divorce hasn't come through.

 

Then it was, I can't have sex because I'm depressed that we haven't had a princess wedding.

 

Then -- we don't have a nice house.

 

Then it was she wanted poodles.

 

Then a Lexus.

 

Then a baby.

 

Then more help around the house.

 

Finally, after getting my divorce, having a huge wedding, getting a big house with a pool and lots of land and landscaping, getting two thoroughbred poodles, not one but two Lexus cars (what the hell is plural of Lexus?), a baby, and after I did 100% of the cooking, cleaning and housework, guess what?

 

She ran out of excuses (finally) and simply said, "I'm not attracted to you. I never want to have sex with you again."

 

Sometimes the wife in this situation will add that it is your fault because you didn't satisfy all her needs fast enough. Or that you got fat, hairy, old, ugly, etc.

 

But the bottom line is, chum, your wife is saying that she is no longer in love with you. Read that again. A wife who is in love with you does not do these things.

 

You can be thankful that she is not cheating (yet) and hasn't (yet) dropped the bomb on you that she no longer loves you.

 

I recommend you move out and go for a trial separation. Sometimes this helps focus a woman on what is going on. Most of the time it simply prepares both of you for the future.

 

If you stay with this woman, you are at severe risk for having an affair, and then it will end badly and the divorce will be much messier.

 

Sorry to be the one to deliver this news.

 

Good luck.