POST-DIVORCE FAKE BOOBS IN EX-HUBBY’S FACE
My ex-wife is taunting me with her new boob job and it is driving me crazy. What should I do? We separated about 10 months ago, divorce just went thru about 2 months ago. Basically she just said she made a mistake and didn't want to be married. with the money she got from me keeping the house she bought herself new boobs; my ex was a model after high school so she is stunning but was very flat (A or B cup) but is now 38D and they are magnificent. Unfortunately for me we work in the same building so every time I see her walk by my office I about have a heart attack (If u know what I mean!!)...she knows I have a kind of serious girlfriend already but she is calling me at night when she's been drinking and asks if I want to come over or if she can come back and see the house, last night she told me about how she bought all new bras...I'd be lying if I didn't admit I am dying to get my hands on her new body...sex was always great between us and now I know it'd drive me wild with those 38D's...but she really hurt me leaving me and part of me wants to blow her off...confused in Orlando. Any suggestions?
Cap’n Jack
Jack, dude,
You have to recognize what this is: your ex-wife is trying to get attention from you, and from the men of the world. It is very common for post-divorce females to get breast enhancements, because they’ve always wanted them, and because (let’s face it) going back out into the single market can be intimidating, so just like men shed pounds and go to the gym to get buff to make themselves marketable to the opposite sex, women get boob jobs.
The difference here is her brazen strutting of her stuff to make you notice her. This is not about her loving you or wanting to get back together with you. This is about her trying to “win” the post-divorce struggle over who is okay and who is hurt. This is a childish thing and more about revenge than anything sensible but it is often the healing process itself. Some men buy red sports cars and date 28 year old strippers after a divorce. Some women try to get their ex-husband’s attention so they can say, no-no, naughty-naughty, GOTCHA! Then she wins and you lose.
Another reason she may be taunting you is to spite your girlfriend. Exes love to drive girlfriends away so they can giggle over the story to their bitter friends, “win” the “who’s prettier, ex or girlfriend” war and (extra points) drive you crazy.
These are not friendly acts, son. These are combat tactics. You must fight back as well.
I recommend a change of scenery. Can you change departments at work and get to a different floor or a different building. Must you work in the same building or corporation or city as your ex? The only reason to be in the same zip code as an ex is for the children. You didn’t mention any, so get going.
If you can’t withdraw from this war, then you must make up your mind to fight it and win it or surrender to failure.
Failure is not an option. Your ex will keep teasing you and the hostilities might escalate. The absence of attention from you will make her do more provocative things like fuck your friends or write your mother lurid (possibly even true) tales of how mean you allegedly were to her and the horrible things you did to her sexually. It’s all a lie but it will upset you all the same. Eventually she will try to affect your job, discredit you and perhaps even get you fired so she can say, look what a mess he is now – I was good for him and his present girlfriend is a crack whore who has affected what little character he had left.
So, say you have decided to win this battle. How? First off, your girlfriend has to be prettier and bustier than your ex. If yours isn’t, dump her and get someone sexier. Disregard this advice if you are truly in love with the girlfriend, but bear in mind that your true love for the girlfriend might have started this war in the first place, because people probably talked about how quickly and easily you moved on. It is always difficult to see what we ourselves add to any situation because we can’t see ourselves, but know that this would not have happened if not for YOUR affect on your ex. So in an odd way, you started this. Now you have to finish it.
Having “defended” yourself with a woman sexier than your ex, now you have to go on the offense. Think of ways that will hurt your ex’s feelings, ways that she’ll know came from you but can’t prove. Example, start a rumor that she likes to have sex with three men at a time (this one spreads like fire on a dry California forest bed). Hijack her email account and have her send porn pics or even naked photos of her to her boss, or have her flirt with a married guy. Make sure you delete the outgoing email trail after you send this stuff and clear any electronic fingerprints. Start a blog that your friends can all read about how crazy she is (don’t mention her actual name and disguise her and your identity when you do this so you can plausibly say you didn’t do it).
You’ll know you won when she bitches to you about what you “allegedly” did to her. Act innocent. You’ll soon notice that the more you piss her off in the war, the less she will tease you sexually. Make her angry and humiliated enough and you might not see her walk by for many moons.
Just be careful. This can blow back on you and even get you in trouble with the authorities or with your employer.
The best advice is to get out of her reach and start a new life in a new town, but again, sometimes that just can’t be done.
Good luck, pal, you’ll need it.
PBAB
No comments:
Post a Comment