THE CASE OF THE STEALTH INTRUDER

CASE OF THE STEALTH INTRUDER

 

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

 

My wife of 3 yrs is cheatng... What am I to do? She doesn't know I know yet.  I found nude pics of her 'friend'/lover.’  They're supposed to hangout for his birthday coming up in a few weeks. He's supposed to be one of her best 'gay' friends; but I found nude pics of him in her email, one of him pleasuring himself. There is not enough room or time in this forum for me to go into all of everything. I knew there was something going on. Now, she continually hides her cell phone; she even entered him under a different name in her cell. I found all of this today. I know it must be pretty lame for me to be dumping all of this on you, Playboy Author Boy, but I gotta talk... I don't want to tell my friends and family until I have talked with her. But I'm really thinking about hiring a PI to follow them on this 'birthday hangout'. What do ya think?

 

Signed,

Ass Kicked by a Gay Guy

 

 

Dear AKGG,

 

Avoid the temptation to spy on her or hire a P.I.  You didn't mention whether you have kids, but even if you do, your marriage is over.

 

Also, never tell friends and family about a partner's infidelity.  When you -- without a word -- leave her, they'll know.

 

So, step 1, consult an attorney.  Step 2, stop spying on her and checking out what she's doing.  Stop caring.  Step 3, pack a few suitcases and move out, again, without a word and without warning.  Step 4, start this at step 1, stop speaking to her -- I mean it, if the building is on fire, write it down on a sign.  Steps 1 - 4 can jar a spouse back into the marriage, but only one time in a hundred. 

 

Step 5, file for divorce.  Step 6, negotiate hard for the stuff and the house.  If the opposition attorney tries to claim you abandoned your claim to it, you have the law on your side, and now you bring up her moral turpitude and how objectionable you found it.

 

Step 7, no matter how hard it hurts, keep the silent treatment up.

 

At this point she will go to you and beg for you to take her back.  By now you will have seen some of the world outside this awful relationship.  Odds are, once word gets out that you moved out, women all around your world will flock to you and try to become the girlfriend.  Avoid temptation on this for a while.  Resolve only to fuck women YOU choose and seek out, not females who try to seduce you.  If this becomes difficult, just hit internet porn hard until you find someone.  Women who want to have sex with you when they find out you're now separated all have a motive and are not to be trusted.

 

Step 8, go to a divorce support group.  Great place to meet new females.

 

Step 9, get laid by a female you seek out, hunt down and seduce, never never never one who tries to seduce you.

 

Step 10, back up and evaluate.  By now your ex is either repentant and sorry and wants you back (decide on your own if you want back in, but prepare to repeat steps 1 - 10 almost immediately) or she has become a complete bitchbag and wants to kill you.  If you have a choice, I recommend you avoid reconciliation.  Once a man cheats on a woman, there remains hope for a continuing relationship, but once a woman cheats on a man it is all over.

 

Good luck, my friend.  Let me know how it goes.

 

Playboy Author Boy