MARITAL SEX MISMATCH

THE CASE OF MARITAL SEX MISMATCH

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

 

How many times a week is normal for married sex?    Is it abnormal for a man to want sex with his wife twice per week and his wife wants it twice per month?  I just can’t seem to get my wife to put out enough.  Please help!

 

Horny in Hoboken

 

 

Dear Horny,

 

Sex drive disconnect is the norm for marriage.  Typically men want sex more than women, particularly if children are involved.  If your wife's decreased sex drive is sudden, you should seriously investigate.  But if it is gradual and commenced with getting pregnant, there is not much you can do to change this basic life fact.  Others will tell you I'm wrong and that a husband can do a hundred things to get his wife in the mood.  Trust me, that will last a month at most.  Your female will decline back to her low sex drive mode soon and she will know your tricks and see you coming.

 

My advice?  If this issue is serious, seek counseling but be aware that marriage counselors often intentionally hide the obvious conclusions from the couple (telling the truth can be unethical in their upside-down world).  Counselors think their mission is to smoosh together two unsuitable people -- they even counsel other marriage counselors!  If you go to counseling, have separate "truth telling" sessions where you go in and lay out the bare bones truth, then your wife does the same.  Then have a couple session.  Then go back for a solo session.  At that point ask, "what did she say?  What is your conclusion?"  Do not ask, "what is your advice?" because that brings their ethics into play.  The counselor's CONCLUSION from THE FACTS is what you must demand.  Then a good counselor will answer you with probabilities.  "It is unlikely you two will be able to remain happy together."  Translation, get out of this marriage before it eats your soul.

 

Another path is to be ready to enjoy your wife when SHE is in the mood and the rest of the time console yourself with self-pleasure (best done with porn of the internet variety).  If that isn't filling the gap, you could default to the path of an affair.

 

The infidelity path has been chosen by men for thousands of years to meet the sexual needs of the married male during sustained periods of sex drive mismatch.  I do not advise it because it can lead to life-threatening trauma (not just to the wife but to the husband).  Infidelity can lead to divorce not just from the wife kicking out the cheating husband but from the husband leaving because he fell "in love" with some bimbo who gave him mind-blowing sex.  Divorce leads to financial ruin, separation from beloved children, child support payments and bitchy ex-wives.  Sometimes it can lead to suicide.  That trim on the side that seems so tempting can take you off the planet, chum.  Don't think you can just do hookers and keep things under control.  Vagina is like heroin.  At first it's hookers, but then it'll be married women at that bar out of town, then a coworker, and soon you'll have a girlfriend and soon after that you have a relationship and soon your paramour is visiting your wife and your house is no longer yours.  The financial devastation of divorce makes you lose your girlfriend as well.  You can even get fired because people at work think you are unable to control your life.

 

Long story short, if you have sex drive mismatch, you are probably best just to shut up about it and try to seduce your wife as best you can.  If that doesn't work, keep suffering.  If it gets to the point you truly are willing to risk it all for your sexual happiness, before you cheat, sit the wife down and try to split the dishes like adults.  But even then, prepare for disaster.

 

Like it or not, penis ownership is not for the faint of heart.

 

PBAB