MARRIAGE
Dear Author Boy,
Can marriage work successfully? When do you know it's time to ask? What are some of the problems you might face?
Longing for the Wedding Band
Dear Longing,
Frankly, there are no problems I might face – after two marriages, I’ve had it.
But let’s look at this for you:
The arguments against marriage outweigh the merits.
Sexual incompatibility is the most frequent complaint. The usual gripe is that people start off sexually compatible and then one of them exhibits a slowing of sexual desire. This usually never gets fixed and grows into the other, more sexual party longing for his or her needs to be met. This further separates the couple and then internet porn or cheating raise their ugly heads.
Children. A woman changes so much from having a kid that she may as well become a different person. To raise a child, the woman focuses on the kid, the male feels neglected, and bad things happen.
Money. Who owns the bank account and how the money is spent and how the bills get paid and obligations get met separates people.
Life goals. A woman marries "potential" but if the man doesn't live up to the potential the woman feelsslighted. The man feels like she knew who he was when they got engaged and what's all thisabout wanting him to be more?
Other people. You can be perfectly happy in your marriage and then someone walks into your life and sweeps you off your feet. Your dream lover. You then resent your spouse and the distance opens up.
Here's how it breaks down. Marriage works for 1% of people. 80% are unhappy but have given up. Either they aren't that into romance or they aren't that sexual or they channel themselves into their careers or children or family or interests. That leaves 19% who fight a war to split up, complete with flying frying pans and large bills for kinky hookers, which eventually leads to large bills for attorneys, alimony and child support.
Still want to get married? Maybe you're in the 1%. But as my grandmother used to say, “"maybe so, sonny, but I kinda fuckin’ doubt it."
3 comments:
Dear Longing,
OMG, with your looks, this guy had better have Bill Gates kind of money and George Clooney kind of looks, or better.
If your personality is as good as your looks, just kill me now, because I'm in heaven!
PBAB, where do you get the 1% figure from? Is that a guesstament, or do you have facts to support your numbers?
Down boy. Truth is, there are a lot of pretty women out there who are on Match and willingly show up for dates, Timz, and if you drool like that it turns them off. If you treat them cooly and don't pay attention to their looks, they get interested. Don't forget to ogle other women in their company and flirt with the waitress. Works every time. Hey, it's not my fault, I'm not responsible for the messed up way women are wired.
As to the stats, since I first got married to the first idiot in '84, I've asked every single person I know about their levels of satisfaction in their marriages. It's a survey, perhaps not random enough, and it is difficult for people to tell the truth about this, but the 80% is solid in my opinion. The 1% might be as high as 8% but that's still lousy.
Have to agree with you, PBAB. Besides, a woman like this wouldn't spit on me if I were on fire. My problem is that I am just "TOO"
Too zealous
Too available
Too needy
Too nice
Too helpful
Too subservient
But most of all:
Too fat
Too poor
Too old and
Too married
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