Q: How do you know your partner has fallen out of love with you?
A: Top Ten List of Ways to Know Your Partner No Longer Loves You: (drum roll)
10. No sex for days or weeks at a time.
9. The excuses about number 10 don't hold water.
8. Parties are a pain in the neck because spouse is flirting with opposite sex.
7. Spouse keeps disappearing with the phone for mystery calls at night and guards the cell phone from your prying eyes.
6. You can't remember the last time spouse came up and kissed you for no reason.
5. Spouse rarely smiles at you, only when he/she is thinking to themselves or reading an email or watching TV.
4. More working out, new clothes.
3. Red fingernails when you've been begging her to paint her nails for ten years. When you compliment her about them and ask her to scratch your privates with them, she sneers that they are not for you.
2. You touch her in the bathroom and she pulls away like it was a spider.
1. You find a note to her from another guy. You find a picture of another guy. You find that this is the same guy she's been talking about in casual conversation a lot. "My friend Bob says..."
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