TOXIC SHOCK

 

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

I’m confused.  I’ve been married 17yrs to a stubborn, controlling, arrogant ass. Should I jump overboard?  He is a hard working husband who really works way too many hours. Very self-centered, negative all the time, controlling, expects me to do it all, he won't see a therapist, thinks we don't have any problems, and when he is depressed he spends a lot. I want to leave because I can't breath and he never helps out. He's never cheated (that I know of) except for looking at online videos. My tendencies are to always please others, keep the peace, don't rock the boat, try to be the peacemaker, I have small children and am holding out leaving him because of them but I am dying inside/miserable. I don't want to hurt them But I'm hurting myself. Tell me what I should do and when should I do it? I guess deep down I know what to do but don't have the balls to do it.  Any words of wisdom?

Virgo in Virginia

Dear Virgo,

This happens to every marriage. It turns out that the man your ovaries are attracted to for procreation is totally unsuitable to be the guy you want to be married to post-children. I can't tell you how many times I've heard your story.

It has two endings. In one, the woman eventually leaves the guy, recovers from the toxicity of being married to someone incompatible, and eventually starts dating and rebuilding her life and then meets guys, dates guys, has sex with guys, gets good at selecting a guy for non-procreational relationships and lives happily ever after. In the other, the woman's soul dies a crushing death until she's a zombie. You've met a thousand women like this, women who take no joy in their marriage or their relationships, who put all their energy into work or causes or charity or politics or the kids until it is too late to move on. Sometimes zombies come back to life, about a year after the husband dies (let's hope of natural causes!).

One thing you should know. The longer you stay in a situation like this, the longer it takes to detox and the further out your future happiness is. If you know your life has led you to a cul-de-sac, the sooner you plan your way out and work your way out, the better you'll feel.

It takes a boat load of courage, though. Best thing to do is get a good friend who's been through it before. Don't know anyone? Internet is a great place to find someone who can guide you. A lot of people out there would be glad to help.

Good luck.

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POST PREGNANT LOSS OF LIBIDO MAKING HUBBY JUMPY

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

Is my husband thinking about cheating on me or leaving me?  My husband and I have been together for five years, married for two. We have 3 kids, 4, 3 and 18 mos. We have always had a decent relationship and he has never complained about our sex life before. We have a lot of stress right now with the kids and building a new house.  I also have a medical condition which I recently had surgery for, so I haven't been feeling the best lately, I ended up getting an infection from my surgery.  This also makes sex painful. I would say that we have sex 2-3 times a week. My husband acts like I am making up the fact that I don't feel well and doesn't ever take care of me or help out around the house, so I am left to take care of the kids, myself and the house and it is exhausting! Especially since I have had the infection, I have just been wiped out. So I basically crawl into bed every night and fall asleep. He is upset that I don't approach him to have sex, I am upset that he seems to care less how I feel and sex is the last thing I want to do with him!  So what do you think, am I about to lose my husband?

Worried Sexless in Wyoming

Dear Worried,

This complaint dogs every marriage with children. Consider it the turbulence a jet experiences going through the sound barrier. Every man has a difficult time realizing he has sworn to only have sex with ONE woman and that woman is telling him NO for apparently a long time. This broke up my first marriage because I wasn't mature enough to deal with it. To me it seemed like one big bait and switch. My wife got what she wanted -- big house, kids, stay at home situation. What did I get? Bills, all the responsibility for earning the money, and my Johnson in my hand. It  creates resentment in bushels.

Now, if you survive this time, good for you. It can get better again.

But odds are from what you're saying about your ex, he is not one of those guys who will happily give you some room.

I would not bet on your marriage lasting the decade. Sorry, but that's how I see it.

EMAIL FLIRTATION WITH MARRIED GUY ~ WILL I BURN IN HELL?

EMAIL FLIRTATION WITH A MARRIED GUY ~ WILL I BURN IN HELL?

 

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

 

I'm married, is it wrong if I sent another married this email?

 

He sent an email to everyone at work that he was going on vacation for a week. I replied back to him:
~~~~~~
Enjoy your time off.

Are you okay? You don't seem as happy as usual.

~~~~~

I've been sad lately because I have feelings for him and I can't be with him, so I've been avoiding him. I think he's been feeling the same as well. I just want to see him happy again. I want to move on because I can't be with him, but at the same time I don't want to see him hurt.

Do you think this email was inappropriate?

 

Flirting Badly in Flemington

 

Dear Flirt,

 

Nothing wrong with your email from an official work point of view, so no, you won't get in trouble for it.

Even his wife could see it and you'd be okay.

However, you know your own motivations and you also know that the real problem is not your feelings for this guy -- that's a symptom that your marriage isn't working.

I see this all the time. People lust for and hunger for someone outside their marriage, then get divorced, and that person they wanted so bad -- turns out they suck. Most affairs don't turn into post divorce relationships because once people are free, they want someone who satisfies all their needs, not just the bedtime ones.

Post-divorce, you find out what and whom you really want and need, and if you know what you're doing you find it, and all this anguish fades away like a lame nightmare.

SEPARATION ANXIETY

 

SEPARATION ANXIETY

Dear Author Dude,

What's the proper amount of time between one's last lovemaking session and bringing up the subject of divorce?  I believe our last lovemaking session -- if you could call it that -- was Wednesday or so. It mostly consisted of her barking commands and me going along like a robot, as usual. In any case, I am planning to have a deep and meaningful conversation with my wife very soon about some indiscretions of hers that I have been made aware of, and was wondering if there is a set time one should have between lovemaking, and, if it comes to this, asking for a separation  So, I hope it doesn't come to this, but can one ask for separation if he just had sex?

Sexed but Seeking Separation in Seattle

Dear Sexed,

Good question, bro, and obviously you've put some thought into this.

In your situation, I'd blow off the "meaningful and deep conversation with the wife" and communicate with actions. Just move out and take your stuff. In short order your wife will want to know what the deal is. Tell her you will communicate by email (this is great because you then have a record of it for your attorney).

Sit down with some attorneys and protect your assets and income, if not for you, for your kid or kids so you have some money to take care of them during the time you have them. So many men blame themselves during a divorce and say they'll just let her have everything. Don't doit, bro! You'll regret it later.

Hopefully your attorney will be a father's rights advocate and can protect you more than you can protect yourself.

Go on to be a good ex-husband and co-parent. If you do this right, you can even become friends again with your ex and someday you can even laugh about it over a pot of coffee or bottle of wine.

Good luck, pal. Let me know how it goes.

HUSBAND HUMPED THE POOCH ON THIS ONE

HUSBAND (LITERALLY) HUMPED THE POOCH!

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

Oh my God, I can’t believe this!  What can I do? I found my husband doing something horrible!  I came home from the store and brought some groceries in and when I opened the door I found my husband sticking his penis in our dog! For God’s sake, what should I do?

Betrayed By the Dog Lover in Bedford

Dear Betrayed,

Well, that's a pretty sight. I'd say you need some time to get over that. And I doubt you'd want to be sexual with him unless and until he gets a medical checkup and the two of you put a marriage counselor's kids through college.

But I must ask you, is this the tip of an iceberg? How are things in your marriage otherwise? The behavior you describe correlates to him being severely unhappy with the marriage sexually, sort of the maximum extreme version of internet porn. And odds are if he's screwing the pooch, he's also picking up hookers or doing people on the side.

I'm also thinking that somehow his subconscious "arranged" for you to find this out. If he knew you were coming home, wouldn't he wait for some time when you'd be out longer? Or do it in the basement behind a locked door so he'd keep his secret? If it was so easy for you to walk in on him, that could be a sign that his subconscious mind wanted that to happen.

But if that is true, why? Why would he want you to see this? To shock you so that you would leave him? To end the marriage?

Only you know those answers.

 

TOP TEN LIST

Q:  How do you know your partner has fallen out of love with you?

A:  Top Ten List of Ways to Know Your Partner No Longer Loves You: (drum roll)

10. No sex for days or weeks at a time.

9. The excuses about number 10 don't hold water.

8. Parties are a pain in the neck because spouse is flirting with opposite sex.

7. Spouse keeps disappearing with the phone for mystery calls at night and guards the cell phone from your prying eyes.

6. You can't remember the last time spouse came up and kissed you for no reason.

5. Spouse rarely smiles at you, only when he/she is thinking to themselves or reading an email or watching TV.

4. More working out, new clothes.

3. Red fingernails when you've been begging her to paint her nails for ten years. When you compliment her about them and ask her to scratch your privates with them, she sneers that they are not for you.

2. You touch her in the bathroom and she pulls away like it was a spider.

1. You find a note to her from another guy. You find a picture of another guy. You find that this is the same guy she's been talking about in casual conversation a lot. "My friend Bob says..."

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NEED SEX NOW!!!

DYING FOR SEX, BUT DON’T WANT TO LEAVE THE KIDS

Dear PBAB,

I'm married and I have been talking to someone for the past 2 months. No we have not had sex , so don't ask . However, if I weren’t married, chances are , I would be all over this man. I have stayed with my husband for the past 5 years because of our children. I know that is not a good reason to stay with someone, however, the guilt I feel over the thought of separating my kids from their father is so bad that I'm sick a lot of the time. I can not even stand the thought of my husband touching me in a casual way let alone a sexual way. I have no idea as to what I should do. Yes, I have talked to my husband about our problems and he just walks way and doesn't want to talk about them.

Screaming for Sex in Sacramento

Dear Screamer Girl,

 

You're missing a key ingredient. Just because your marriage is over does not mean your parenting arrangements will be any different. My ex and I talk all the time about our daughter and make joint decisions, and many are the times we've split pots of coffee or bottles of wine telling stories about my daughter that the other parent didn't directly witness. We've even asked the other for dating advice! So you see, it's not that divorce separates a man from his kids, only a bitter divorce does that!

If you can split the dishes like adults, things will be fine.

That said, one of the things that makes splitting dishes turn into hurling dishes is affairs.

You need to turn off the idea of being with another guy. That is not your life's love, it is just your glands' way of telling you that your marriage doesn't work sexually anymore.

Trust me, once you are separated and are legally able to date someone without screwing up your coparenting divorce situation, you'll see that all these potential affair partners you were lusting after fall way short. Glands do not do a good job of picking a boyfriend!

I used to have a three-organ committee to pick the next girl (heart, brain, penis) and every three months the chairman would be switched to see if it helped pick out a better girl. It took a long time and a lot of dating different people but eventually I found someone who is perfect for all three!

 

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AT LAST! THE OBVIOUS ANSWER TO SEX DRIVE MISMATCH!

AT LAST!  THE OBVIOUS ANSWER TO SEX DRIVE MISMATCH!

Dear PBAB,

So many people are not satisfied because they want sex and their partner doesn't. Wouldn't it be great if women who don't get it from their husbands could hook up with men who don't get it from their wives and vice versa?  Isn’t this the obvious solution? It would be recreational sex, no emotion. Then the individual could quit bugging the spouse and remain in an otherwise happy marriage.  What do you think?

Thoughtful in The City

Dear Thoughtful,

 

I was told by two women who actually DID this that the emotional connection in the presence of good sex is almost inevitable, and the forbidden fruit aspect of it makes it that much more alluring.

Absent a "glory hole" approach to sex, women will generally turn down emotionless sex or it will lead to emotions.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it is a Pandora's box.

MARRIAGE

MARRIAGE

Dear Author Boy,

Can marriage work successfully? When do you know it's time to ask? What are some of the problems you might face?

Longing for the Wedding Band

Dear Longing,

Frankly, there are no problems I might face – after two marriages, I’ve had it.

But let’s look at this for you:

The arguments against marriage outweigh the merits.

Sexual incompatibility is the most frequent complaint. The usual gripe is that people start off sexually compatible and then one of them exhibits a slowing of sexual desire. This usually never gets fixed and grows into the other, more sexual party longing for his or her needs to be met. This further separates the couple and then internet porn or cheating raise their ugly heads.

Children. A woman changes so much from having a kid that she may as well become a different person. To raise a child, the woman focuses on the kid, the male feels neglected, and bad things happen.

Money. Who owns the bank account and how the money is spent and how the bills get paid and obligations get met separates people.

Life goals. A woman marries "potential" but if the man doesn't live up to the potential the woman feelsslighted. The man feels like she knew who he was when they got engaged and what's all thisabout wanting him to be more?

Other people. You can be perfectly happy in your marriage and then someone walks into your life and sweeps you off your feet. Your dream lover. You then resent your spouse and the distance opens up.

Here's how it breaks down. Marriage works for 1% of people. 80% are unhappy but have given up. Either they aren't that into romance or they aren't that sexual or they channel themselves into their careers or children or family or interests. That leaves 19% who fight a war to split up, complete with flying frying pans and large bills for kinky hookers, which eventually leads to large bills for attorneys, alimony and child support.

Still want to get married? Maybe you're in the 1%. But as my grandmother used to say, “"maybe so, sonny, but I kinda fuckin’ doubt it."

YOUNGER MAN, SPURNED FOR BABY DADDY

THE YOUNGER MAN, SPURNED FOR THE BABY-DADDY

Dear PBAB,

What am I to do?  I met this 44 year old woman.  She’s 10 years older than me. We have been dating for a year and I asked her to marry me and she said yes. We have been engaged for 2 years. I have been repairing her house since Katrina. we ran out of money to finish it . I lost my job in June of 2007 but got another one ASAP. I don’t make a lot of money but I kept this job for 9 months now. she had been looking for her ex husband to pay child support . she found him and they met up to let her 15 year old see his father. so the next week came and they spent the weekend in ms. which pissed me off. she came back and told me I that it took her ex to make her see I don’t do any thing for her. I cleaned house and done other things around the house but got no appreciation for it. last week we had a fight b/c she told me that she was going to get her ex from the hospital. but that was not true. she bailed him out of jail. I got mad and left Easter day. I love this woman a lot. she is so mad at me she wont even talk!  Help me!

Big Depression in the Big Easy

Dear Big,

Her judgment is clouded by the fantasy of family togetherness. Before she got confused by the baby-daddy guy, her mental confusion was evident in her taking up with a man ten years her junior. Women do this if they are playing, just having a good time. They don't do it for a serious relationship. Sure, one time in 100,000 it goes on to be a committed relationship but the other 99,999 times it is just a woman having fun.

Her statements to you do not pass the test of truth because she is just saying whatever she can to try to make you leave her. Women do this, they don't come out and dump you, they torture you so you dump them, then they can act the victim, get sympathy from their friends, eat ice cream and flirt with that guy they've been secretly getting moist to all the time you were together.

Face it, my man, you were a bill-payer and a vagina-servicer, a play-toy. She has this fantasy of having "the real thing" with Baby Daddy Boy. It won't happen, but that's her problem.

You need to distance yourself from this woman. Best way to get your mind off a loved female is another female. Three words, bro: Match dot com.

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INFANTILE AND SELFISH HUSBAND

THE CASE OF THE INFANTILE AND SELFISH HUSBAND

Dear PBAB,

Should I be upset? Not sure how to feel at this point?  Back in December my husband and I talked about taking our 4 and 6 year old girls to Florida over Spring Break. This week. Well as soon as February came around he told me that it would cost less if he was to go alone with a few guys, one being a Disneyland cast memeber we know well. So 4 guys left last night on a Red Eye flight. The Disney CM will sign the other 3 in to all the parks, so they wont be buying tickets, but they are gone for 9 days. I want him to have a good time, but at the same time I feel that my girls should have been able to enjoy it to. I also feel left out as I am the sole bread winner and work 3 jobs to support him and my girls. I have never been on a "girls" vacation not even a girls weekend. I should be happy and hope that he has a good time and I am trying, but I know if I want to do something like that... he wont let it happen. I am so confused. We have been together for 11 years and have never gone on a vacation like this with out each other.

Need help in Napa

Dear Abandoned Wife in Napa,

The only thing worse would be if he said, you don't mind if I cheat on you while I'm gone, right?

You work three jobs, and he doesn't work, and he goes to Disney without the kids?

Okay, I'm going to tell you what my second divorce lawyer told me. She tapped my forehead and said, "this is one hundred percent your fault. You found this idiot, dated her, singled her out from all others, forsook all others for her, married her in front of the world, and now you have the gall to complain about what a horrible person she is! I got news for you, pal! She was always a horrible person! You were just thinking with the wrong head!"

I suppose the female version is that you must have been having baby fever or you ignored reality because the truth would have been too painful.

Anyhow, I hope you wake up soon. The world needs good women like you, but it needs for good women like you to have loving husbands who take care of them and the kids.

PBAB

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WHY GOD INVENTED MARITAL SEPARATION

WHY GOD INVENTED MARITAL SEPARATION

Dear PBAB,

 

What should my next move be (aside from counseling please)? My husband and I have been arguing a lot lately. Verbally, we have been more cruel lately than in the past. I really don't like where we are headed. The past several days, we haven't even interacted like we should. He stays in one part of the house, and I in another. After some horrible things that have transpired, I was left feeling less than loved, so yesterday, I tried to get through to him, to let him know that I love him, and I just want us to have a healthy relationship. I initiated the conversation with, "do you love me?" That was as far as I was able to go. He said if he didn't love me, he wouldn't put up with all of this, and than proceeded to jump down my throat about not living up to my wifely duties, not cooking in the past three days (we just moved 4 days ago, I work and go to school both full time), and bla, bla, bla... I told him I did not imitate the conversation to insult him or to be insulted. He didn't say anything.

Signed, Loveless Loretta in Louisville

Dear Loveless,

 

Your next move should be to move again.

Read on, please.

If you leave, temporarily, even if it is the Motel 6, it creates two things.

First, it gives you solitude and peace enough to think. In your situation, you need to think, and the energy created by your husband is preventing that.

So think back to the beginning of your relationship and try to remember who you were then and how this man came to be your one and only, the one man who you singled out to forsake all others for, the one man who you were sure could love you above all.

Then think about who he was back then.

Then compare the people back then to now.

How did both of you change?

Why did both of you change?

How are you different? Is the difference growth, blooming into adulthood? Or have you influenced each other the way roots of juxtaposed trees do?

Has that influence been for the best?

Answer that honestly, as honestly as anything you've ever considered.

Second, being in a different space for two nights, two weeks, two months gives not only you clarity of thought, but it gives your husband the same.

He can then answer the same questions and consider the same things.

In the clear light of day, you must each come face to face with the frightening idea of what your lives would be without the other.

Three months from now all these answers will be yours if you have no contact with your husband.

Odds are, if your relationship is healthy, you will come together like newlyweds. If it is damaged, it can heal. But if the relationship is not right for you, you can gather the intelligence and the courage to do what you must do: disassemble the unhealthy relationship like compassionate adults.

I wish you well. Write me and tell me how it goes.

PBAB

 

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MARRIAGE

"Marriage is a crazy-maker, an abusive little institution that only survives because we brainwash our children."

THE BITTER BITCHY EX-WIFE

THE CASE OF THE BITTER BITCHY EX-WIFE

Dear PBAB,

I’m so bitter!  I really need to get over the bitterness I feel toward my ex-husband.  The marriage was truly awful, and the things he did, beyond abysmal.  I left him 5 years ago and I don’t love him, or want to be with him at all. Yet he STILL makes me so angry!  I want to move on;  I’m annoyed about how angry I get.  Yikes!!  Oh, don’t tell me to get him completely out of my life because we have two kids together, so we have to remain in contact.

Bitter in Baltimore

Dear Bitter Boots,

I keep wanting to ask my first ex why SHE's so bitter. I'd say the answer is that to a woman a relationship is of the same status as a career is to a man -- it defines one's identity. You are having the same feelings of rage that a man would feel if he worked and planned all his life for a career like being a doctor or lawyer and got tossed out on his butt. That kind of indignity is never really gotten over.

For the fired professional, healing comes from rebuilding and finding a new career and purpose in life to replace that which was destroyed. I'm guessing, but doesn't it seem like the way for a woman to move on would be in rebuilding also? Wouldn't connection to a new man have some soothing qualities, particularly if that man appreciated the female?

I know so many divorced guys with children who would love to meet a woman who can appreciate a man.

I guess what I'm saying is that there is life after divorce, but only if you swim up to it.

Good luck, dear.

PBAB

 

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THE MAN LACKING MANLINESS

Dear PBAB,

There was this older chick who was letting me bang her.   I do not consider myself an attractive man, not bad, not handsome, I am overweight and self conscious. I don't believe I am a great lover. She told me that a smart woman will not go for the man who can have any woman because she will always have to wonder, she will go for the man who truly appreciates her. She also told me that if I am self conscious, any woman I meet is MORE self conscious, don't worry about it. Just be yourself and they will love you.  Is that true?  Was she just stroking my ego?

Nervous in North Jersey

Yo Nervous Dude,

That was probably true about her and it would be true of a subset of women.

Women are as different as cars. They don't all even have the steering wheel on the left side! What's true for one is only true for her.

But if a woman you loved told you that all you lack is confidence, that is a great data point. It means you can be successful with other women.

Certainly not all women, but no man is great with all women.

You must determine what your type is. Do you like brainy chicks, sporty chicks, dyke chicks? Tall, short? Slender, muscle-bound, chunky, voluptuous? Blonde, redhead, brunette? Talker, introvert, psycho? Figure this out, and then only go for those women. As you do that, you will find that the women who are NOT your type love you and the ones who are your type snub you.

Why is that? To the women you don't like, you appear more confident. Confidence is killer for chicks. A woman will throw herself at a confident dude, no matter what he looks like.

So then, my friend, start treating women you like just like the women you don't. Treat them like dirt. They will worship you.

PBAB

THE PUSSY-WHIPPED EX-HUSBAND

THE CASE OF THE PUSSY-WHIPPED EX-HUSBAND

Dear PBAB,

 

My man doesn't stand up to his ex-wife!  I think he’s actually scared of her. He'll stand up to me but not her. They share custody of their daughter. He'll agree to be flexible with her but she is not always flexible with us and he seems to scared to ask. It always gets contentious on the phone with them. I feel so powerless over this. Do I confront him on this and ask him why he won't stand up to her and why he will to me? Is he more concerned about keeping her happy or me?

Frustrated Squeeze Feeling Squeezed

Dear Squeezie Girl,

 

I put up with this complaint from my own girlfriend concerning my own bitch-on-wheels ex-wife. A woman has attorneys on speed dial and can always find a way to create bullet-proof excuses for disallowing child visitation. That's awful, but it even gets worse. She can poison the child's mind against the father. So if your guy treats his ex carefully, remember, he's like the bomb squad. One false move and BOOM, there goes his daughter. Naturally, children get older and more aware, and the foolish ex-wife eventually suffers just as one woman I know did who tried to poison her son's mind against the father. He left home at 14 to live with his father and never spoke to his mother again, and now she is the one crying the tears of loss.

Now YOU, dear girlfriend, can be replaced. Perhaps not easily, but with some effort. My counsel to you is to be supportive to the point that you can barely stand it.

If you can't, do him a favor and leave.

As for me, the next time my girlfriend complains about my controlling ex, I'll toss her out of my house for a week and let her feel what "alienation of affection" means.

PBAB, the Bomb Squad Guy

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CLUELESS ABOUT SEX

MIDDLE AGED AND CLUELESS ABOUT SEX

 

Dear Author Boy,

 

 

I am 32. I have been single for 3 years on and off. I have been introduced to a couple of guys by friends, met a guy on the seafront, met another in the supermarket and met 4 internet dating last year and one recently. I was very careful with the guys on the internet and spoke and e mailed for a couple of weeks and met safely during the day with friends aware of my location etc.

 

I have taken things very slowly which each guy I have met but they all have one thing in common! Each of them seemed really nice and genuine and I did my homework before getting involved with two that I did.

 

I have been horrified most have been married or have an ex on the scene or just openly looking for sex. I am just so outraged at what seems to be the 'norm' nowadays. I find it really upsetting that guys seem so flippant and so calculating about sex. I feel I am losing my faith in men. They have all been professional ok looking guys who seemed genuine and honest. What am I doing wrong?

 

Crying in Croyden

 

 

 

Dear Whimpering,

 

 

Here's what you're doing wrong. You're 32 and acting like you're 16. Get over it. People have sex on the third date if they like each other. Stop acting like sex needs you to do months of homework.

 

With an attitude about sex like yours, you should investigate if you are not heterosexual. Most normal women have sexual desires and are all too happy to get sexual attention from "nice" men they are dating. Either you were sexually abused as a child, making sex seem unsafe, or you are a homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that). You should explore your feelings toward women. Explore a little bit and find what makes you tick, or else before you know it you will be 52, alone, unfulfilled and bitter about it.

THE WANDERING HUBBY

WANDERING HUBBY

 

Dear PBAB,

 

 

Could you trust him?  My husband works in an office for a large company. We just about divorced one time because he had an affair with a 21 year old girl at work. He is 45. I wanted to make our marriage work, and he said he will never do it again and has learned his lesson. The office that he works in is small (2 people), and they are getting ready to hire "another" person (the other guy that works in there is leaving), and they are going to hire a woman. They usually hire college age girls too. My question is...Would you feel insecure about a good looking college girl being in the office, sitting side by side with your husband? He is always saying...I wish they would hire a good looking babe! Don’t tell me how insecure I am please.

 

Waiting by the Phone

 

 

 

Dear Waiting,

This is what happens when you try to "save" a marriage that was obviously over. You have a lifetime of this ahead of you. This isn't a relationship, it's an investigation. If it makes you happy playing Scotland Yard, have fun. It'll never be different until Hubby is too old to get hard. Even then he'll be flirting, just keeping his dipstick to himself. I suggest you get a life, get a separation, get a divorce, build your life, date and find a real relationship.

 

You see, if you ever ask the question, "could you trust him?" the relationship is over.

 

Sorry kid, but you should have dumped this guy the first time he went off the reservation.

 

PBAB