DEAR PLAYBOY AUTHOR BOY

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

 

 

 

So, I read all the stuff you sent me yesterday.  And I had that nice call from Tom (cryptic man's name is Tom, just like the ex) ... .  In my "suspicions" or fears, I had checked his yahoo account earlier in the day twice ... the first time it said that he'd been active within 24 hours, then it said within the last week.  Okay, so it got updated at some point during the day.  Then we're talking on the phone last night and he tells me how he's liked to see if this could work out between us.  Nice.  He goes on to tell me that he has made his profile unsearchable on yahoo.  (Not that he's taken it down, but that he's made it unsearchable.)  Okay.  But he sort of stumbled through saying that, which, having just read your player blogs, made me go, hmmmm ... So this morning I went out and checked on yahoo ... yes, he has made his profile unsearchable, but I had saved his profile, so I can still look at it, and it said active within 24 hours ... so am I just getting fed lines ????  I hate this.  I want to trust the guy, but ... Please tell me AGAIN that I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth.  He is not smooth enough to be a player guy, as far as I can tell ... unless he's SOOOOOO smooth that he's playing the role he thinks will work with me, and then he'll move on. 

 

 

Dear Getting Fed Lines Girl,

 

I am so glad you asked me about this.

 

You need to understand something about online dating.  It can be seeds planted in rocky soil.  It is usually a bad idea to even hide your profile when you get a spark from someone.  But better to hide it than take it down.  Taking down your profile, that is, "striking the colors," (nautical term for taking down the flag) is bad luck.  Almost always when someone does that it is a mental symbol that they are putting all eggs in one basket.

 

Don't let yourself fall into this.

 

Whenever I'd strike the colors, either things would fall through with the girl, or she would FREAK OUT that I took down my profile, even if things were going smooth.  It would scare women.

 

That's the protocol.  Odds are this guy doesn't want anyone but you.

 

Now, as to your spying.  I used to joke with a girl I was dating this year (STELLA707 on Match, stunning brunette but not for me, she was incapable of being a switch in bed) that she was such a spy.  She was always on Match to look at my profile to see if I were ONLINE NOW! SEARCHING FOR SLUTS!  But when she'd be on spying on me, it made HER seem online now!  So there I am spying on her, while there she is spying on me.  She'd laugh about it.  What I was really doing was clearing out email and telling women who were hitting on me that I was in love with Stella!  And mails POUR in the moment a guy hides his Match profile.  All the women on earth are all cool as cucumbers until the SECOND a guy hides his ad.  Then anyone he's corresponded with in a year comes at him ~ "Why did you hide your profile???"

 

Yet another reason to keep it in place.

 

A true player?  He has TWO Match accounts, one with no photo and a listless screen name and writeup.  That's the Match profile he uses to search for sluts so his main girls don't catch him ONLINE NOW.  So many females don't get this ~ Match is about half the price of a few rounds of drinks, so for half the price of a first date, a guy gets a way to stay surfing for sluts while appearing virtuous to the girl he's playing.

 

So don't fall into the trap.

 

Also, it's sneaky of you to spy on him for his online activity.  Could you look him in the eye and tell him you did that?  I doubt it.  Which means your doing something as deceptive as a player sneaking around with other girls.

 

Some men, if they know what they are doing, before going exclusive with a female, test their feelings.  I am doing this now.  I'm going exclusive with Juggernaut Girl ("Jugs") but before I did, I had a flurry of first dates with other women and a lot of online activity.  Why?  To show myself that no temptation out there compares to the woman I love.  No other female got me going.  I watched myself as this gorgeous, sexual blonde looked at me at the bar and said she wanted to fuck me.  My heart rate didn't even rise.  I never called her.  Why?  It showed me I'm in love.

 

Other guys may use Match correspondence to do this.  They prove to themselves that no other woman does it for them like "The Girl" with a capital T and a capital G.  Then they can commit without looking back.

 

Finally, be careful about this jealousy thing.  You are not exclusive with a man until the two of you look each other in the eye and tell each other you are exclusive.  This is a major relationship event.  It is never done until the sex is clicking, and I mean, you need to be fucking him for a month or two and the sex is great.  It also does not happen until you introduce him to at least one friend or family member and hear what they think of him (or just read their eyes).

 

You are post-first-date with a great potential guy.  You are nowhere near where you need to be to take down profiles, spy on him for online activity, or worry about exclusivity.

 

See article attached.

 

Michael