DEAR PLAYBOY AUTHOR BOY ~ THE CASE OF THE COOLING GIRLFRIEND
Dear Playboy Author Boy,
I’m a 22 year old male and I had a lot of trouble dating. I’m not sure why. I’m good looking, in with the cool crowd, but girls always made me shy. My younger brother is a total player and has always had awesome girlfriends (whom he regularly berated, mistreated, ignored and generally treated like they should serve him). He says I have no idea what I am doing. The problem? I finally got a girlfriend, a tall, slender, smokin’ hot gorgeous specimen of a babe. She’s the first true girlfriend I ever had, but up until recently she has been helping me make up for lost time. My virginity finally disposed of, I was enjoying a great relationship with my girlfriend ”Gwen” when out of nowhere, things seem to be cooling down. Gwen doesn’t complain much, but she’s not as interested in sex, seems less attentive, more irritable with me, and generally just not being that nice. I don’t get it – I treat her like GOLD!!! What is going wrong? Is there another guy? There’s something that doesn’t make sense here! Please help me!
Signed,
Cooling Fast in Alaska
P.S. don’t ask me to consult with my brother. He thinks Gwen isn’t that bright and he also thinks that it is actually the fact that I’m being nice to Gwen that is the problem. I know my brother is successful with girls, but he doesn’t know me and he doesn’t know Gwen, and his advice seems like bullshit in this case!
Dear Uncooly Cooling Guy,
I really hate to be the one (or the second one) to deliver this news, but you are indeed being too nice to the girl, and that alone is driving her away.
To be successful with a woman, you must first understand the female reptilian brain. In advanced humans, this center of the brain continues to influence behavior, no matter how evolved the female is.
In the case of a woman, her reptilian brain isgeared not just to her own survival, but to the survival of the species and her own offspring. A woman is built to try to attract the biggest, strongest, healthiest mate who will fight for his own survival and thus will allow her to breed male offspring who will also be strong and healthy and fighters for dominion over the planet.
Here’s the answer – the nice guy CAN get that kind of love and worship from the female, but only if he plays to her reptilian brain. Why? Because her reptilian brain is saying in language she can’t ignore that you are an Alpha Male and must be pleased at all costs. The minute you are nice to her and treat her like gold, although her rational brain will appreciate it, her reptilian brain will start to lose respect for you. Once a woman starts to lose respect for the male, all the fun ends. A woman CANNOT get horny for a guy she doesn’t respect. And to keep her respect, the man must DISRESPECT her!
Think of a female as someone who speaks a different language than you do. If you went to France, would it be “dishonest” or “playing games” to speak to non-English speaking residents in French? Some would say so, because “honesty” is expressing themselves in English, but a very few, and you would say those people are morons. No, speaking French to a non-English speaking Frenchman is entirely appropriate and attempts to accomplish the goal of communication.
In a relationship, communication is vital because we are each negotiating with the other party to get our needs met. Absent needs that are met, the relationship breaks down. You have a need to be loved and respected by the female, for instance. That need isn’t being met. So you must communicate with her that she is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated, and the best treatment a woman will give you is if she sees you as an Alpha Male. Therefore, you must communicate with her that you are one. Then the world will become level again.
Until then, even your girlfriend won’t know why, but she will feel herself losing respect for you and losing her attraction. Some women will just breakup with you then. Others will wait for you to dump them and in the meanwhile, suck up your attention and your resources. Still others will cheat on you with (you guessed it) an asshole, a jerk, a guy who treats her badly.
You have three choices. Act the asshole and keep the love of the woman. Or “be honest” and keep doing “the right thing” the way Mommy taught you and lose the respect of the female and be doomed to being in crappy relationships. Or give up being with women forever.
Let’s say that (finally) you have seen the light and only need help with the “how” rather than the “why.” What now?
Don’t be so fucking nice. Stop treating her like a princess. Or like gold, as you say. Start showing up late. Go a day without calling her. Occasionally berate her in front of her friends. Be a jerk. For days at a time, forget all about the female orgasm and just be selfish sexually. Don’t go overboard, but if you just slightly mistreat the female, she will worship you. You can just say that what she’s wearing isn’t sexy. Or start being late and don’t explain why. Or ogle other women in public and don’t apologize. Your next fight? Win it. How? Just at a point when normally you would use logic on her, just say, “fuck you” and walk out of the room and then don’t call her. Silence does wonders for keeping a woman insecure. Use jealousy. Tell her that your last girlfriend has been emailing you, that one woman who makes her a little off balance – and since Gwen is your first girlfriend and knows she is, you have to find someone she’s jealous of and start a conversation with the woman and mention that to Gwen.
I know it is counterintuitive, but odds are you’ve watched your successful brother mistreat women and get all kinds of female lovin’ for doing so. You thought he was handsomer than you are, and he got girls to like him in spite of his jerky ways. Wrong! A woman will go for a jerky ugly guy before a nice handsome guy. Why? Because the female reptilian brain interprets “jerkiness” as “confidence” and “confidence” as “strength” and “strength” as “survivable” and “survivable” as “sexy” and “sexy” as “I want to fuck him right now.”
Sorry to make you lose your faith in humanity. Turns out the feminists were wrong all along. In Saudi Arabia, women are property. A female project manager and engineer who is divorced can’t get a visa to go to a Saudi jobsite – why? – because she is neither the daughter of a man traveling into the country nor the wife of a man entering. The Saudis publicly proclaim that females are “household property” (it’s on their official embassy website!). Yet Saudi women are not anxious to leave the Kingdom, nor are they refusing their husbands sex! And some are educated and put up with this all the while. Why?
Female reptilian brain.
Now go out and tell her that her butt is fat, and if she tries to punish you, don’t call her for a few days, and meanwhile, chat up that chick she’s jealous of.
Inside a week, she’ll be blowing you while you watch football and all your beers will be fetched, ice cold, by your new sex slave.
Don’t thank me, son. I’m just doin’ my job.
Playboy Author Boy
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