Dear Playboy Author Boy,
I have a fuckbuddy. I call him Blue-Blue because he has piercing blue eyes and for the first two weeks of our association I left him hopelessly blue-balled – we laugh about that now, because for the last two months I’ve been taking VERY good care of him.
I realized early, however, that Blue-Blue wasn’t a long term relationship partner. We each had some hopes but because of several incompatibility issues and diverging interests, we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. That said, I love his company and I love fucking him. I enjoy his phone calls and live to see an email from him. His calls and emails are frequent but too short. I know it is an odd relationship to start with, because I feel sometimes like I want more from him when he wants less from me, and often it is the other way around. But invariably we spend either Saturday or Friday night together in bed, and it is fantastic.
I still date. For example, I was going to New York City to see a friend and meet a new guy who at first seem scrumptious enough to fuck on sight but on second thought is probably just getting the kiss on the cheek treatment. So when I realized that NYC Boy was a dud, I called up Blue-Blue and asked him if he wanted me to come back early from my NYC trip and see him Saturday night.
That fucker! He went into a list of excuses about how it didn’t matter either way, making me feel like he wasn’t that into me! I’m so furious I’m seeing red over it even asI write this! He probably has some little whore all lined up to be fucking him while I’m away in the city, that asshole!
Moreover, Blue-Blue likes football so much he has season tickets to his college team and the local pro team and he parties and tailgates all the damned time. I think he should just stay home and watch the games on television from his nice, warm girlfriend’s bed. I’ve even offered to serve him like a wench and suck his cock during time outs so he won’t miss any of the game (and I get my protein shake!). What does he do? He gives me a thousand excuses about how much he loves football and won’t give it up for me.
So, PBAB, what should I do? Dump him? Sit him down and unload a piece of my mind? Wait for him to see that I’m amazing? Become unavailable so he realizes what a great female he’s missing out on? What???
Love,
Empty Vagina Beach Chick
Dear Empty,
I’m not so sure it’s primarily your vagina that’s empty! Let me get the facts straight:
1. You’re not that into this guy.
2. He’s not that into you.
3. You both enjoy fucking and hanging out.
4. He loves his sports and wants to see them whenever he can.
5. Although you love having sex with him, you feel free to fuck whomever you want, whenever you want.
6. Although you know he loves having sex with you, you expect him to be faithful to this “nonrelationship” and get pissed at the idea of him fucking some other whore.
The above “fact pattern” leads to the answer that you are a spoiled brat princess who is so narcissistic that you think that other people are mere objects for your pleasure. You are acting like a male college sophomore who just discovered his player game and has learned how to bed females, but is horrified at the thought of the girl he’s fucking on Monday nights having sex with anyone else.
This is a phase to grow out of.
As an experiment, I challenge you to try to be emotionally honest with this guy. This is apparently hard for you. How do I know? If Blue-Blue had heard honest things from you, he wouldn’t be pissing you off. Oddly, this guy seems more into you than you claim. He bends over backwards to avoid angering you, even to the point of trying to let you have fun in NYC without seeming clingy to you. I seriously doubt that guy has enough game to be seeing other women, and since you are so openly jealous of other women, he wouldn’t be hooking up with you and other females unless he’s in it for the thrill of seeing if you catch him, and that’s not his vibe.
In any case, make up your mind how you feel about this guy independent of how he treats you. Evaluate the man on absolute metrics rather than fuzzy emotional ones. And try to avoid (a) excessive submissiveness with emotional dishonesty and (b) being controlling. Tell the man how you feel and let him decide whether he wants to see you or go to his tailgate parties.
And lighten up on the guy loving his hobbies. This is one reason why marriages fail. Be happy that he has some joy in his life separate from you.
Finally, I don’t believe for a second that this guy doesn’t truly matter to you. This is more than just your little princess ego. You truly care about the guy and are having trouble being honest with yourself about it. That’s the most damaging lie, the one you tell yourself.
Good luck and keep me up to date, and here’s a drink to that empty vagina of yours getting filled.
As ever,
Playboy Author Boy
1 comment:
I didn't say you could post that story, lol. But be truthful, I never asked him to give sports up, wouldn't want that. As usual your characterization of me is extreme, I am hardly furious, just mildly disappointed, confused and not sure how I really feel. My other male friend says he turned the table on me...he's probably right. I don't think he's dating other women but I would have no expectation that he's not and he certainly could attract them if he wanted to. You know damn well I'm not the least bit narcissitic too. My real dilemma is, I'm not sure what I want from him. I need to really think about it and decide. I'm afraid if I tell him I'm feeling differently, want more than nsa and it goes in that direction...that could scare me. I'm a freak...don't want nsa, and feel suffocated with anything too serious. New relationship category...the NSA monogamous as to screwing but both people free to date...hmmm. I know, MORON!
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