ANOTHER DEFINITION OF LOVE

LOVE DEFINED, AND A DAMN SHAME IT IS THAT IT NEEDS A DEFINITION

 

 

 

The phrase "unconditional love" is redundant.  There is no such thing as "conditional love" because by the definition of love, love cannot be conditional. 

 

Love is defined as follows: 

 

"Love is not a ‘fuzzy feeling’ for another person.  Nor is it to be confused with lust.  Love is a verb. It is characterized by the willing and eager extension of the self in the selfless and often difficult or inconvenient service of another, for the cause of another, often for the spiritual development of the other, or for the other's health or well-being.  This conscious, planned effort is not selfish.  No benefit to the self is expected.  Any selfishness involved in a supposed act of love describes not love but obsession, which masquerades as love and may sometimes only be distinguished from love by the presence of selfishness itself.  The second characteristic of love is sometimes known as feedback.  The one giving love accesses whether the previous act of love was a success and had the intended result, and if not, the one giving the love re-evaluates and formulates a new approach and a new delivery, and never quits until the result is achieved." 

 

Think of love as the action of a baseball pitch, the lover being the pitcher, the beloved being the batter.  The pitcher evaluates and plans and then sails his best shot homeplate-ward.  The batter is either given what he needs or not.  The pitcher reassesses the last pitch and formulates another.

 

The closest we seem to come to love is in our actions toward our children.  How then, does romantic love fit in?  In most cases, romantic love is obsession or lust, but if there is deep friendship and a deep connection, it can be called love.  Usually, when someone says "I love you" they are misstating the idea of love.  Usually what they mean is "I'm selfishly obsessed with you and want you for my own selfish purposes; I want to use you for my own benefit."  Or, “I lust for you and I want to fuck you.”

 

But then, saying to the girl on the fourth date, “I lust for you and I want to fuck you” doesn’t achieve its intended goal.  Odds are, if the feeling of what passes for love is goal-directed, it is not love at all.