A CURE FOR MARITAL BOREDOM NEEDED!
Dear Playboy Author Boy,
My husband and I have been married for over three years now, and that initial newlywed and engaged attraction and spark for each other has long gone. We still love each other very much, but just don't have that same spark and excitement for each other when we were engaged and newly married. I assume this is normal, but I hate it! Now he has this stupid brother that's engaged and acts all in love and it annoys the heck out of me, and I think I feel jealous because that phase is over in my life. It makes me sad to think we may never be like that again. How did you deal with it? We still love each other so much, it's just not that newly wed spark in your eye type.
Bored in Bayonne
Dear Bored Chick,
Sleeping in the same bed without first having sex turns you into siblings and the brain's natural aversion to incest takes the heat away. Put another way, when "two become one" as in marriage, "sex becomes masturbation" and as we all know, masturbation is boring.
The extreme solution is separate bedrooms and only be together in the same bed when you both want sex.
The other solution is to pick days of the month when one person becomes the other's slave. Not just sex slave, but anything slave. When it's your turn, you can make him clean the toilets and wash the shower and do errands. When it's his turn, you have to wear a French maid outfit, bend over and take it up the pooper. You get the hint. A couple months of that, you will no longer see your spouse as a domestic bore. You'll be excited just to think of him.
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