Dear PBAB,
I dated a single mother for a year , was great to her , respectful patient helpful, there when she needed me , spent most time with her , give her space when she needed it and without asking for it . Recently she got a job working 6 nights ( overnight ) week with 2 days off , kind of stressful job . The only thing she said that we would see less of each other , I understood and was supportive of her . She missed our 1 year anniversary because she took her kids out of town without telling me ( keeping in mind that I know her kids come first but it was out anniversay ) . Later she said that she doesn't know that she wants to be with because of the job and she needs time for kids and her self ( keeping in mind that I always gave her space and respected her time with her kids ) . We broke up . I just feel that she did nt really love me because if she did she wouldn't let a job ( she doesnt plan to stay there more that 7 months ) come between us . She said it's not fair to me. Can you help me?
Lonely in LA
Dear Lonely,
She doesn't love you and is making decisions based on the relationship being over.
The writing is on the wall. Read it. Move on.
Also, you need to browse through some of my blogged stuff. You are making the mistake of being way too nice. Unfortunately, women do not respond to that. Their reptilian brains confuse your gentlemanliness with wimpiness and because females need male strength for the survival of their kids, women equate all your consideration and giving her space with being weak. You also signed over yourself to her and went completely exclusive with her. Had you dated around while you dated her, her jealousy would have kicked in, always a good thing, and you would have gained more respect with her. Women say they hate men like that but it is not true, they compete for men like that because a guy who dates around is a guy who appears confident, and females equate confidence with strength. It's just how the female is wired.
2 comments:
Hey Lonely,
I feel your pain, man. I'm a big guy too, never been thin a day in my life, so I always thought I had to bend over backwards to get a woman to date me and stay with me. Long story short, women always abused my good intentions and generousity. PBAB is right, and you should listen to him. Women say they like the shy, quiet, easy-going types, but they don't. Nope, they love the jerks. Women go after guys who act like they couldn't care less about anything. They love men who don't come running every time they call. They love it when they can't get ahold of you for several days because that tells them you ain't hanging around waiting for them to call. Women love aloof, hard to get men that they can't push around, and they absolutely hate kiss-butt, yes-men. Period.
Do yourself a favor, if you need a friend, get a dog. Then start treating women like you couldn't care less if they live or die, and then you'll get some respect and probably more opportunities for dates. Good luck!!
True story...
I have a cousin who is 5'-11" and 300 pounds. He's bald, works at a factory and chews snuff. Not a pretty picture, right? Well, this same guy has the attitude that PBAB is talking about and he gets more women than most better looking, thin guys ever do. And I'm not talking about fat, ugly chicks either. He gets thin, hot babes! Some want to date him, while others just call him up for a late night booty call, and he loves it. I once asked him why he didn't settle down with one woman and have a family. He replied, "Dude, I don't want to get married, I just want to meet women and f**k as many of them as I can."
Moral of the story: You don't have to be thin, good looking or even rich to get with a woman. All you really need is self-confidence and respect.
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