MISSION STATEMENT FOR LIFE

Mission Statement for Life

I  wrote a mission statement for my life just to  see how it would come out.  Here it is:

 

To lead a balanced life characterized by meaning, energy, integrity, courage, honor and dignity with a sense of humor and humility, in faithfulness to the ten clauses below:

 

1 career - to craft a meaningful career in which I contribute meaningfully and avoid events of taking shit from clients or management while having fun and a few laughs.  Develop meaningful mutual relationships in a network of colleagues who will assist me in continuing this career and the eventual successful transition to retirement.

 

2 relationship - to craft a meaningful mutual relationship with a woman whom I love and cherish characterized by sensuality, sexuality, respect, and love.

 

3 children - to nurture and coach my children to their own lives of success and happiness, sacrificing when needed to achieve the goal of raising each child to be his or her best self.

 

4 recreation & health - to find and keep toys in my life that will help me recharge and be happy and keep my life in balance; to take care of my physical well being so that the days of my life are lived in health and vigor; to project an external appearance of health and strength that matches my internal development of strong character.

 

5 financial management - to command my personal finances so that I am debt-free and able to pay for the good things in life; to have enough money for comfort and to support the needs of my career, my relationship, my children, my recreation and my health; to govern my personal finances so that my life is not wasted or consumed in useless worrying about money.

 

6 relationship with creator - to foster a relationship with the creator of the universe and to walk with him, in recognition that my existing is for a reason and that the reason has meaning in the greater context of the construct of the universe; to find a greater understanding of the meaning of life in communion with the great eternal spirit as I am able to perceive him; to obtain strength and wisdom and courage from this spirit to enable me to live this life, which can so often become frightening.

 

7 writing career - to write to please myself and understand the universe in ways that will please me, my fellow man and the creator, and if possible, to make this writing pass on what I have learned to those who come after me.

 

8 death with honor - to live my life without having decisions made for me and to continue that life until I can die with honor, without clinging to the biological infirmity of my body at the end of my healthy time on earth; to die with courage and dignity without consuming the resources of my family and by doing so to demonstrate to them and to those observing me that the meaning of life is living it in health and vigor and not grasping in desperation for any breath possible; to realize when my body is no longer able to continue in strength, to gracefully relinquish my life.

 

9 wartime provision - to recognize that certain times in life become a war against dark and evil forces, both external and internal, during which my entire life force will be concentrated on fighting the battle to survive; during these times I pledge to fight as a warrior and never surrender to any force of evil; to protect myself, my relationship partner, my children and my friends from these dark forces; and to recognize that during times of war, my devotion to the other nine clauses of this mission statement will suffer temporary neglect; I pledge to be gentle with myself during times of war for my failure to uphold the principles of this mission statement, but to attempt to recover effectively, energetically and quickly when the war is over.

 

10 conclusion - in all things I will try to conduct my life with energy, integrity, honor and devotion to the people and principals that have meaning in my life.

 

Is She "ONLINE NOW! SURFING FOR BOY SLUTS!"???

Dude,

My lady friend and I have been together for 2 months and I'm wondering why she's still hitting match.  Should I ask her about that?  I don't want to appear insecure but WTF!?

Radar in Rockaway

 

Dear Radar,

Excellent question!

Beware the following bear traps:

1.      She may be on Match to see if YOU are showing a banner that reads ONLINE NOW! SURFING FOR SLUTS!  Sounds really stupid but more than one woman I knew spied on her guys all the time!

2.      She may be on Match to show your profile to her family or girlfriends.  Like, see, this is the great guy I’m dating.  Except when you pop up, there you are…ONLINE NOW, SURFING FOR BETTER SLUTS THAN THE ONE I’M DATING!

3.      She may be in her aol or yahoo email, simply answering emails by stating, “sorry, I can’t go out with you but you should hit on my girlfriend slimy_slut_2000” or “sorry but I’m seeing someone.”  When she does this, FROM HER HOME EMAIL, Match will show her active within an hour.  This baffled me and I experimented with it.  If she comes on her own email and answers one email on Match, it could still show her inactive.  But somewhere between 2 emails and 10, the Match system will show her as active within X hours.

4.      Women can get squirrelly about withdrawal from Match or profile hiding.  Once I hid my profile and the girl freaked out, thinking that I was taking her over!  She may worry about what would YOU do if SHE hid her Match profile.  The easiest thing to do is…nothing at all.

5.      You can withdraw and cancel your Match account but it will still show you current and active since the time you signed on to cancel.  The only way to disappear from Match is to (a) hide your profile and (b) cancel your account.

6.      Monogamy is a touchy subject.  Any time a female would mention it, I would start going on a rant.  Even bringing up the subject can be a problem.

7.      If you’ve dated for two months, it might be time for “the talk.”  You know, that talk where you broach the subject of, “are you dating anyone else?  If not, do you still want to keep your options open?  Should we just focus on each other?”  Beware of this backfiring on you because now YOU won’t be able to (a) surf for sluts on Match or (b) keep her guessing.

HUNDRED GIRLS BLOG ~ TRUMPED???

Yo Dude,

In reference to your "Hundred Girls Blog," it looks like this woman beat you to the punch, publishing a book about online dating.  Still however, I'd be willing to bet that your ruminations are funnier and a little bit more "real world."

Here's the gouge and the link:

How to navigate online dating's depths:  When Jane Coloccia set out to find her soulmate online, she had no idea that eight years and 200 dates later she would end up an expert on the topic. 

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/24831528/from/ET/

Your pal and fan,

Paul

Hey Paul,

Here's my comments:

1.  Took her eight years to do 200 dates. She's a slug. I did 100 in 20 months. Plus, as a chick, her dates were free. Mine cost $10k.

2. Crowded market. Chicks read these books. Men don't bother (unless clued into the misogynistic tendencies of the author). Women had to read my blog in secret or be flamed by fellow chicks.

PBAB

P.S.  Here's the entry I made on the article on MSNBC:

Everyone's had it up to here with female dating experiences.  It's easy to be female and just sit there and get asked out and never have to pay a dime, and use your push-up bra to get the guy.  Try being a guy and getting a girl, midlife, post-divorce, while having a young kid half the time.

I did it and saved every experience, and I'd bet it could teach  this author quite a bit about dating and men.

A hundred women in twenty months, each female nuttier than the one before her.  Check it out at:

http://journals.aol.com/silentfastdeep/hundredgirls

 

 

DIVORCE ~ CRAZY TIME

 

Dear Author Boy,

My best friend is cheating on her husband.

My husband and I are best friends with this other couple. My husband and the other husband own a business together.

The wife (28 yrs old) came to me and told me she had cheated on her husband several times with a guy who works at our business. I told my husband. We have not told the other husband. The guy (20 yrs old) who she is cheating on with lives with them.

She has gotten to the point where she will not leave the house when we all go out because she wants "alone" time with the guy. She has now left her husband and as taken the kids with her. The husbands mother lives with them because of her health conditions. The wife cannot stand his mother.

She has told the husband, the only way she will come back if he puts his mother up somewhere else to live and if he changes. She is totally reversing the roles to make it look like its him and not her cheating. What do you do in this situation? 

Confused and Holding the Bag

Dear Bag Girl,

For starters, you stay out of it. Friends get split during a divorce and sometimes friendships end, possibly because people are at their worst in a breakup and even if they are saints they exhibit horrible character flaws during the crazy time that is a divorce. In your case you pretty much have to take sides because of the business, so you "belong" to the groom, but remember, HE picked this woman, HE decided to forsake allothers for her and planned his universe around her of his own free will, so he contributed to the fall. You don't know what actions he took to help this disaster along. For all you know, the mom-in-the-box trick was a tactic to torture wifey, and having the young stud bunk in was a set-up to get her to stray so he could take the high moral ground. I'm not saying that is the case, but I am saying you know nothing of what truly happened in the marriage. No one does, not even a surveillance camera would give you that insight.

So back off, support the husband, and wait for people to regain their senses after the splitup.

One thing though, your business partner is apt to start screwing up at work, making mistakes, and perhaps even embezzle. Like I said, people sort of step out of their usual personalities during a divorce.

CONTINENTAL DIVIDE...MARITAL DIVIDE

CONTINENTAL DIVIDE / MARITAL DIVIDE

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

You are so funny!  And you're right about affairs.. me and my lover are having one, but I actually want him for my entire life; he wants me too..it's like we found each other, only later in life, children grown, and maybe too late.. .any advice for that???? I'm 50, he's 54 and we are having the best sex of our lives, the best love... bad thing, we live on opposite sides of the country and are with our spouses for financial reasons.. what can we do??

Finally Found It In Fort Lauderdale

 

Dear Found It Girl,

Thank you for the good word.  I know your situation very well, having lived  it, or portions of it.  My experience with post-kids true love leads me to think it is much more "real" than the biological (reproductive) imperative inspired "love" of our 20s and 30s.  My experience with living with a wife while having a long term affair makes me realize the unhappiness I suffered and caused.  And my experience with distance relationships tells me the answer.  The thing comes down to the internal life of the mind of you and your affair partner.  If the life you are leading is enough, don't change anything.  If you want more, more, more of the lover, and staying with the present arrangement makes you unhappy, you have to contemplate change.

Three changes are huge though.  A move for one of you, a divorce for one or both.  Just ONE of those changes could crater the relationship (relationships seem much frailer than they should be, they don't survive big variations!).  Then all that work to create the change to get a little more happiness causes that happiness to vanish and creates a catastrophe.  It would be like the roulette table but betting a million dollars on one number but the reward is only a hundred dollars.

The other thing you can do is recognize that the affair is just a sign from the supreme being telling you to end your marriage.  While that would lead to the end of the affair, it would leave you free to try again.

Good luck,
PBAB

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SINGLE CHICKS DROOL, MARRIED WOMEN RULE!!!

Dear Author Guy,

How can I stop liking married women ?  There is something about them that makes them sexier, no matter how old they are.  I ogle them at the gym, on the street, and even at work.  I feel like I’m going to get into something I can’t control.  But single girls bore me!  What do I do?

Weight Lifter in Washington

 

Dear Muscle Boy,

Married women are attractive to you because they are unavailable. Single women could decide to own you and take over your life.

Married women are more realistic about relationships. They've seen it all. Single women think marriage is a fairy tale and are baby crazy. Married women, post child-rearing, are ready for a man to meet their mental, spiritual, romantic and sexual needs, NOT the cravings of their wombs. This makes a lot of difference.

So maybe your lack of respect for single girls has merit.

Advice: try dating divorced women rather than girls who have never been married. Divorced chicks come in all ages, shapes and sizes. And to a woman, they tend to have that extra maturity that makes them cool.

Or just keep screwing married chicks, but eventually you will realize that if you cheat with married women you are damaging their entire families in ways that are difficult to fix, karmically speaking.

Your pal,
PBAB

LEFT BEHIND IN THE MARRIAGE RACE

All my friends are getting married!  This year 4 of my friends got married, we are all 30, and I feel like something’s wrong with me! Why am I the last one? or maybe it wont even happen?




This happens to all women and if you were to interview them ten, fifteen or twenty years later as I did, to a woman they are bitter about how they got married because of the stirring of their ovaries or the competitive influences of friends who were getting married.

Marriage shouldn't be a game of musical chairs. Nor should it involve timing.

Here's what my grandmother, may she rest in peace, commanded my older sister -- love guys, live with a guy, have sex with him, get a dog with him, buy a house with him and if you absolutely MUST, have a baby with him but never, ever get married to him! You'll regret it inside ten years, guaranteed.

Naturally my sister ignored the advice. And ten years later she was going through a nasty divorce.

Further to the issue, my friend's wife went through what you are going through, and she totally wanted a baby. She married my pal as a result. When they were splitting up, it became clear that in addition to the musical chairs thing, she suspected correctly that she was not heterosexual. She was beginning to realize she was a lesbian and the idea terrified and disgusted her and she still has trouble with the idea. Now divorced, she is happy in her single life and nary a man in sight, nor does she want one. She hasn't gotten involved with any women -- her upbringing was a little too strong for her to allow herself to do that.

I mention the above because sexual orientation is not always something that is obvious.

Good luck.

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