THE CASE OF THE INTERCONTINENTAL HUBBY

THE CASE OF THE INTERCONTINENTAL HUBBY

 

Dear PBAB,

 

 

My husband is really not happy in his job, mostly due to boredom. It pays really well, although I do understand he feels unfulfilled. He has been offered a great job, but its 6000 miles away, and he wants to take it. Now I would follow him anywhere, but we have four children, our youngest is just 10 weeks old, and because he was born 14 weeks early, has only been home from the hospital for a few days.  My husband wants to go now, and have us follow in October.  I feel pretty heartbroken that he is so willing to leave us, and his new baby behind, for sake of job satisfaction. The worst part is that his new employer has told him he can delay it six months if he wants so we can all go together. My husband says he doesn’t want to do his job anymore and so has decided to go in a couple of weeks.

 

Signed,

Deserted Wife

 

Dear Wife,

 

 

Men define themselves by their work. If you support him in his work, he will value you. If you thwart his work, he will resent you.

 

However, taking a job on the other side of the world is troubling and is showing that he is very deeply dissatisfied. I know men who do this to run from their family situation. Too many squalling brats, distracted wife, nagging, no sex, you get the picture.

 

Complicating this is the soaring increase in the temptation level of being in a different time zone from your wife with small children. Not only does a man feel less confined, but he also can be preyed upon by the kind of women who don't truly want intimacy but miss the company of males -- in short, "homebreakers."

 

Not very many situations like this avoid infidelity on the man's part. That's not to say the marriage ends, it just means the faithful part of the marriage ends.

 

If you don't like the sound of that, best to go with hubby on his new posting or convince him his job satisfaction is within 50 miles of hearth and home. Best of luck.