THE CASE OF THE SURFING SPOUSE

THE CASE OF THE SURFING SPOUSE

 

Dear Playboy Author Boy,

 

I just turned on the computer and it looks as if my husband has been looking at porn - should I be concerned?  We are both in our 40s and he is looking at porn - looks as if he has been for at least 3 weeks - how else besides history can I see what he is looking at? He is doing it during the day - I work days and he works nights. I have not had the chance to ask him about it yet - he is at work. Then there are sites woman looking for man and he is also looking at those. I have always trusted him but now I am worried.

 

Competing with a Computer in Colorado

 

 

Dear Competing Girl,

 

All men who are sexual visit internet porn sites.  It's how we're wired.

 

Only three warning signs --

 

1. He's visiting gay pornsites.  Gangbangs with multiple men on one woman are fine, he may just like the fantasy of a woman filled with cock.  I'm talking about man-on-man hardcore stuff.  If all his history is about chunks and twinks, it is probably time to move on.

 

2. He's into kiddie porn.  This goes beyond dumping him into "call the Feds" territory.

 

3. He's into internet dating for sex or romance or both.

 

You seem to have evidence of number 3.  It's one thing to look at an internet dating site, another to sign up and be actively on it.  It could just be wistful sexual longing and spicing up your love life could fix a man who is just wishing for more romance and more sex.

 

But if he is actively involved in internet dating, communicating online with other women, I would say your marriage just lost a wing.  Time to strap on your parachute and hope things hold together long enough to reach the door.

 

But assuming you just find porn sites -- no matter how kinky -- that aren't gay and aren't kiddie stuff, he's just horny.  And that can easily be remedied by a sexually creative wife.

 

Do you have what it takes to keep a man sexually interested in you?

 

I hope so.

 

PBAB