IN THE QUEUE

IN THE QUEUE

 

As any male on the make will tell you, it can take some time to warm a woman up to the point of her wanting to go out with you or have sex with you.  Successful players are either men of extreme patience, men who have available fuckbuddies, or men who keep many women in various stages of dating.  For example, while a man is hitting on girl one, he is on the phone with girl two, finalizing plans for a date with girl three, clinking glasses with girl four, making a second date with girl five, and on a third date with girl six having sex with her for the first time.  Because good sex is rare and relationship chemistry even more rare, odds are that the player will be disapointed, so his search does not end in sexual communion but more likely simply continues.  Girl six is dropped from the roster.  Girl five is promoted to bed mate. Girl four is asked on a second date -- or perhaps not.  Girl three is met at the candlelit table for good or ill.  Girl two is invited out, Girl one is called on the phone, and the computer has yielded a new prospect to hit on with an email.  Eventually, the player hopes to find one woman worth making permanent, or perhaps the game itself is too enticing.

 

See for yourself with these samples of the girls in my queue:

 

 

 

JEALOUS JUDY GIRL

 

Gorgeous, stunning, and very sexy.  Obviously, she’d be great as a girlfriend from a chemical point of view.  But she’s a total CIA agent.  None of her stories add up.  She has a Connecticut cell phone area code, a house in Florida, but lives with her mother a hundred miles away from me?  And yet she’s annoyed that I haven’t committed to her.  I haven’t even dated her yet!  And oh, by the way?  She’s totally lying about her age…

 

GONE WITH THE WIND DOESN’T ANSWER PHONE CALLS GIRL

 

A Southern girl with a smooth-as-silk accent, and let’s face it, a female deep South accent will create a boxer shorts flagpole.  She’s got the big job and the Sunday-all-day-working thing going on, and I’m sure the Match server can barely keep up with her incoming winks and emails, and yet, she lives right in my town, and – get this, SHE winked at ME!!! And she’s 35, isn’t that great!!!  Uh oh, she’s 35 – could this be the Biological Clock Effect (one woman, whom I accused of having a biological clock kicking in, yelled at me:  “I do NOT have my biological clock going off!  I just want to have children!!!  As soon as POSSIBLE!!!”)?  Ah well, no matter, I told her I’ve been to the vet and I’m fixed.

 

LAURA PETRI GIRL

 

Is that hair real?  She’s sultry, beautiful, has a gorgeous voice and a sexy brain, and oh-my-God that body! But she loves controlling, jerky psychos.  It’s an implied insult that she likes me.  Is it freakish that she was honest about her age?

 

NOT READY LEO GIRL

 

She claims to be Black Irish yet acts like the Jewish girls I dated.  “How many books published?  What’s the price per unit?  What’s your cut?”  I could hear her calculator beeping and printing the tape.  “That’s a few million dollars,” she says.  Oh my God, if she’s looking for gold here, she’d better turn in her prospecting kit.  She screams she’s ready for a relationship despite all the female player signs.  I asked if she liked me.  Yes, of course, she said.  In the middle of her impassioned speech about how there were a few guys with whom she had “this immediate, smoking, compelling chemistry, where I couldn’t figure out whose clothes I wanted to rip off first,” I asked her if she felt chemistry with me.  She shrugged.  “I mean, we’ve only been out on, like, two dates, like, whatever!”  By the way, she also lied about her age.